What nuns dream of: one of the best things I have ever found in an archive. Source: Philadelphia Archdiocesan Historical Research Center.
Drawing by Emily Pettit
Maggie is a little magazine about dogs, inspired by Maggie Zurawski’s Companion Animal (Litmus Press 2013).
Editor: Sue Landers
Happy National Dog Appreciation Day, y’all!
What a Lectern is For
A drafting compass marks space and keeps time as the hobby helper comes alive atop the lectern to investigate a cicada wing. A pair of Scottish terriers race around the circumference of the magnifying glass stopping history and attracting the hungry attention of a cicada husk which climbs the helper to give chase. The terriers are only a kind of natural bait. My eyesight is going. The cicada husk chases the Scotty dogs ‘round and ‘round. The procession is fanned by the cicada wing. The cicada husk is captured by one of the hobby helper’s claws. This is a pattern. From within the depth of the “Dictionary of Angels” a syringe appears and is filled red with a secret knowledge of angels. The hobby helper injects the cicada husk with the contents of the syringe as the Scotty dogs retreat back into the dictionary. A system of Liliths is shown. The hobby helper shows us its prize.
The cat observes from afar.
Music from P.I.S.O.R. Scares 2003 - disc one, track 23 “Loons in our national eyebrow” pisor-industries.org/w/sound/p-i-s-o-r-scares-2003/
This is both an homage to the Brother’s Quay and a stop motion experiment.
Rufus Harley, the world’s first (only?) jazz bagpiper who lived most of his life in Germantown (May 20, 1936 - August 1, 2006).
This is terrific!
dogs confused by confused cats against feminism
Confused Cats Against Feminism is a project of We Hunted the Mammoth:The New Misogyny, tracked and mocked.
If you present hateful poems aimed at the poets around you, people will experience pain and your community will incur damage.
A BRUTAL READING
I felt my heart would beat out of my chest. I could not believe what I was hearing. I was on stage as part of a group poetry reading…
I went home last weekend to the mountains of WNC and found ramps in season at the local farmer’s market. Let’s just say I came home with enough ramps to experiment with. The following is a recipe for Jalepeño and ramp jelly and it. is. AWESOME!
This recipe makes almost 60 oz of jelly jubilation
1 pound whole jalepeño
1 big ol’ bunch of ramps (probably about 12 oz)
1-2 dried cayenne peppers
3 cups brown sugar
1 cup cane sugar
2 cups apple cider vinegar
1 package pectin
green food coloring (optional for all you hippies)
Start heating up the canning water and sanitize the jars. Set those glassy goofballs aside but let the canning water come to a boil while you are prepping the jelly
Seed and stem jalepeño peppers
Divide in half and place one half in food processor
Dive the other half a course dice and place in bowl
Take that bunch of ramps, cut off the leaves, and put those leaves in the food processor
Give the bulbs a course dice and let ‘em join the peppers in the bowl.
Take 1 cup of apple cider vinegar and add to food processor
In a large saucepan, add the goo from processor + diced veg + remaining vinegar + the 3 cups of brown sugar and turn on the heat DO NOT RUB YOUR EYES OR YOU’LL REGRET YOU WERE EVER BORN.
While waiting for mixture to come to a boil, measure 1 cup of cane sugar and mix it with the pectin in a DRY bowl. Set this aside for later.
Also while waiting for the mixture to boil, dice up the cayenne peppers nice and fine and add to mixture.
Let the goodness boil for 10 minutes
After 10 minutes, add the sugar and pectin mixture + a few drops of the food coloring, bring to boil. ladle into jars, seal lightly, then lower into boiling water for 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes bring them out and listen to the oh so satisfying sound of the lids popping into place by that vacuum effect.
I got “tulip poplar.”
Which flowering tree are you?
I got “magnetar.”
What class of star are you?
I got “silver age.”
Which age of comics are you?
I got “extraterrestrial.”
What type of desert are you?
I got “vertical.”
What kind of window blind are you?
I got “igneous.”
What sort of rock are you?
I got “Lev Davidovich Bronshtein.”
Which famous Bolshevik are you?
I got “auguste.”
Which type of historical clown are you?
I got “4th.”
Which of the crusades are you?
I got “corporate.”
What type of lobbyist are you?
I got “Langstroth.”
What kind of bee hive are you?
I got “submarine.”
What sort of earthquake are you?
I got “out of pocket.”
What type of heathcare system are you?
I got “patellofemoral pain syndrome.”
What type of knee injury are you?
I got “Silverius.”
Which 6th-century Pope are you?
I got “double.”
What sort of negative are you?
I got “stroke.”
Which regional belt in the U.S. are you?
I got “disparate.”
What type of data are you?
I got “syphilis.”
What sexually transmitted disease are you?
I got “socioeconomic.”
What kind of drought are you?
I got “dirty bomb.”
What weapon of mass destruction are you?
I got “kakistocracy.”
What form of government are you?
I got “coal ash.”
What kind of hazardous material spill are you?
I got “institutionalized.”
What type of oppression are you?
I got “soy.”
What genetically modified organism are you?
I got “accessorial.”
What kind of complicity are you?
I got “Polyethylene Terephthalate.”
What kind of plastic resin are you?
I got “cultural.”
Which type of aggression are you?
I got “epistemological.”
What type of nihilist are you?
I got “situational.”
What kind of irony are you?